mixture of thinking

I miss my HOME.

I miss my HOME.

I miss my HOME. 

For the first time i didnt go back for 3 weeks. ( add in next week ).. I want to go back!!

Everything so fas still good.. I miss my friends so much.. doing well there? Once a while I always felt so helpless when I need help, especially in emotional. When I felt the whole world ignoring me.. when nostalgia comes to me  again.. When I am in the down core.. I am alone, facing it with brave. I tell myself, I must be strong. I need more confident, I need more motivation.. My mood always upside down.. Guess my friends around me know it.. When I am happy, I happy. When I am low mood, I silent myself.. I trying to mix with all the friends here. But don't know why,  there is a gap. I know is my problem, that trying to protect myself.. I need a very patient listener listen to me always.. I seldom express my feeling to my friends here as i think thats just a small problem and i don't know where should I start my story.. Most important is I cant find a ppl to share my feelings with. Maybe everything still so new to me, that I need time to adapt with it. I am not a good expresser.. The one know me well must be my old friends.. I miss them, so much. I so happy when they came to visit me and travelling around. I felt the warm from my hometown. I like they call me to chat, I felt I was with them. I hope my family came here visit me and enjoy the night street of Malacca. =)

Oh ya I really like the night street here. Maybe I just too long time didnt come out at so late. I wish I have a car, then I can stay longer at there, enjoy the night street and night tea with friends. I like the riuh rendah street. =) I miss mamak time with friends after badminton every friday. Of cz I miss badminton too. First time I play with new friends here, not really enjoy but I like the feeling after sport! Maybe I not that close with most of them. I miss the moment play with my form6 friends. =) How do u do guys?

I am not active in cocuriculum here. Compare to my form6 life, it is so much different. So I am inactive here. I am a 100% full time student. Thats why I felt my uni life now is a constant graph. I want to be active, but the spirit doesn't come to me. I want the spirit back! My hostel life here is sucks, nothing big different with jail life. No outdoor activities, every night stay in the small small house. No much uni activities here, or maybe I didn't involve myself. I am just a very very normal student. I doesn't mean I want to be special. Just that my life now is so colourless. I need someone, something or other else that can brighten my life. LOL I always low profile bcause I didn't join much friends at here. Sometimes I just don't like to talk too much and I don't know why. After 1 months life here, I found that I am getting understand my friends around. Maybe I am just too sensitive with some of their tone, words and body language, that bring some bad message to me. For me, all these small action can exhibit someone true personality that they never know. Of cz I didn't just look at the weakness side. I don't like those that just perfunctorily listen at u but they actually didn't concentrate with what u are saying.. After sometime, when the same topic repeat again, they give the reaction "is it?" or "really?". The feeling is not good, just like my words doesn't gave any meaning to u. I am talking to the air. =(

I am so glad that when I need a listener, u all are willing to lend me ur ears. I am touch + happy. Although sometimes I will express my anger to u all. haha. Actually... I have so many things to say.. I am not a good photographer so don't expect my post will have any nice photo. lol. but i do wish i have a camera!! When only I able to buy it with my own? I want to capture the happy moment in my life. =) I wish I can learn some photography skill. haha. I admire those can take really nice photo shoot. =)

2.10am now.. start feeling dizzy.. Need to stop here and continue only next time. tonight will be a good night. =) Good night everyone.